PERKS OF BEING OVER 65
1.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a
hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No
one expects you to run--anywhere.
4.
People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you?"
5.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You
can eat dinner at 4 P.M..
9. You
can live without sex, but not your glasses.
10. You
enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11. You
get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You
no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You
quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14. You
sing along with elevator music.
15.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
16.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than those at the national weather
service.
18.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.
19.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You
can't remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in
Big Print for your convenience!